Acronymary

Looking back to my childhood and early teenager years, about 15 years ago, I can't remember acronyms were an important and in some ways basic part of my vocabulary, and due to the number of acronyms that are now part of my life, I have decided to call this group of expressions acronymary, as they are clearly not words.

Among the acronyms I use with frequency, I can think of ee, cfa, cgs, npi, fml, lol, wtf, wth, np, ttyl, brb, idk, and tmi. There are others, like gi, idt, cv, cqv, re, pr, gds, amdb, il, vl, sck, etc, sg, hr, ps, qa, pr, sno and ps, which are only relevant at work, and that given the fact that many of my friends belong to the same work environment I belong to, are also essential part of the expressions I use on a daily baisis.

Looking at the extension of my acronymary, and remembering the times I have been with my family and accidentally used acronyms (even when I change language, I still use the acronyms in English), has made me wonder at which point of my life I learnt this acronymary, and started giving up on writting and saying complete and meaningful words and sentences.

There have been 3 events in my life that have influenced this change in the way I express myself. The first point was when I started chatting on internet - back in the OCQ days, and also chatting with random people (foolish and irresponsible, I guess I was a normal teenie). When I first started chatting, I used to write full sentences, the way I spoke. However, the communication over these platforms is different than the regular communication between two persons, and the behavior of the more "experienced" persons in the chat is contagious. The start of my acronymary had started.

The second event that contributed to my acronymary was the move to the US (here another acronym). It is a known fact that the members of a community communicate using a peculiar language, known as jargon. Upon my move to the US I became part of the BU ENG community, and learnt the jargon. As a foreigner whose English knowledge was very weak, adopting expressions from the other persons in the group occurred at a fast rate, Many of these expressions (for example lol and fml) were among the first expressions I learnt, and my English started growing, based partially on the material I had at school (mostly technical) and on the jargon I communicated on with my friends.

The third and last event that brought me to the point I am at now was joining P&G (an acronym, of course!). The situation from BU repeated in some aspects, and by integrating into the proctoid community I also learnt the jargon, which is full of acronyms (we do have an acronym dictionary for new hires! ), and being the language we use at a corporative level English, all these new acronyms joined the 'bag' of English acronyms.

My acronymary is part of my life, and will most likely remain as such for as long as I live. My task will be to ensure that I make use of my vocabulary with those who don't know what the acronyms mean, and this way ensure I can maintain communication alive also with those that have not been part of my life in the US and in P&G.

Elefantes

Como una persona criada en una sociedad en la cual sólo lo externo cuenta, tengo la tendencia a notar sin siquiera racionalizarlo a personas con sobrepeso. La discusión sobre cuántos kilogramos por encima del peso ideal son sobrepeso, o sobre cuál es el peso ideal de una persona, no son relevantes en este pensamiento.

La verdad es que, como todos lo sabemos, vivir con sobrepeso no es saludable, y el sobrepeso conlleva a enfermedades tales como la diabetes, insuficiencia cardiáca, dificulatades respiratorias entre otras, que disminuyen la calidad de vida de la persona en cuestión. Sin embargo, es un tabú en nuestra sociedad que ese sobrepeso, cuando se ha convertido en obesidad, no sólo es poco saludable para quien lo carga, sino también para quienes, sin ser conocidos, ven sus libertades y espacios disminuidos para dar cabida al volumen extra que viene con el sobrepeso.

Sé que el tema es políticamente incorrecto, y un tabú en nuestra sociedad, pero estas personas, a quienes me voy a referrir como elefantes, piden no ser discriminadas, pero discriminan a quienes están a su alrededor. Ellos-los elefantes- piden derechos especiales, violando e ignorando los derechos de los demás. Falta mencionar aún, los elefantes requiren de más visitas médicas (por las razones anteriormente mencionadas), y exigen trato especial en el médico.

Hoy, una vez más, la silla junto a mí en el avión ha sido ocupada por una de estas personas. Cierto que como viajera frecuenta que soy he desarrollado una técnica para asegurarme que el poco espacio que me confiere mi tiquete no sea ocupado por alguien que tiene dificultades en hacer ejercicio, cerrar la boca, o lo que sea, pero el tema no es por esto menos incómodo ( Ref: no permitir que el apoyabrazos sea levantado!) Hoy, por primera vez en mi vida, me han mirado mal y me han dicho “irrespetuosa” por aceptar y comerme el sandwich que la azafata me ha ofrecido. Aparentemente estuvo mal hecho de mi parte porque mi vecina tenía hambre y como ella no podía comer, tampoco debía hacerlo yo.

Dónde esta la frontera entre discrimanción y autodiscriminación? Soy mujer y como tal con mucha frecuencia quiero bajar de peso, adelgazar y demás, pero no recuerdo una vez en la que haya juzgado a quienes estén a mi lado en mi comida por comer bien, o por comerse un postre en mi presencia cuando estoy a dieta. Quién nos protege a los “no-elefantes” de la discriminación a la que somos sometidos en estas situaciones?

Random thoughts

Smokers have the opportunity, even in busy days, to make a short break from life every couple of hours, and simply let thoughts come to their minds. These "smoker area" or "smoker break" thoughts, can be split into two groups: The first group are thoughts that provide a new and different perspective to the events of the day. The second group are random thoughts, non-related to anything, and that simply pop up in the smoker's mind out of the blue.

Having had a busy (and also annoying) day at work today, I spent quite some time between meetings outside, in the "fresh" air, and some of the thoughts that came to my mind surprised me greatly. I thought about vacation time. Shortly before going to my parents' for Christmas I had decided to go to a long-5 week long- trip to India. India is a country that requires travellers to be mentally strong to deal with the cultural challenges, it is a big country that requires time, and also a country of contrasts. As a travel-lover I am, I am thrilled to go to India, and I am also aware that it is a trip that will require investments in time, freedom and money from my side.

Now, roughly two months later, I am hesitating on this trip. I want to go, sure, but I am not sure I am willing any longer to invest everything necessary to enjoy it. While smoking today I started realizing what has changed in me in these past months, that could have caused this crazyness in me. I have started to grow up. SCARY! The thought of having my own house, and some stability in my life is gaining importance. When confronted with the "out of the blue" question, if I would rather spend the money of the trip in a savings account intended for a down payment, or in the trip, the savings account wins. (I am also considering quitting smoking and use the smoking money to buy an X3, my dream car!) This means I am not convinced I want to make the money investment, one out of three.

The next realization that came to my mind was time. Although it is true that for the life I am living I am young, I have the feeling age is taking over, and I need to work harder on my career now that I have the possibility, instead of leaving the office for 5 weeks in a row and disconnecting so much, that I won't be able to deliver immediately after arrival. Every day that goes by I struggle more and more disconnecting from work, and simply living my life, and the thought of not working for such a long period scares me, and makes me wonder if I will be risking anything at work, or my entire career. After all, if my project can move on for 5 weeks without me involved, it can go on without me, and the question of whether I am really contributing arises. This is the second out of the three investments I am unsure to make.

Freedom is the third investment. I am free, and my self preservation instinct is not yet fully active so I can still afford to do random irresponsible stuff and not think about the possible consequences. However, since I stopped wearing my ring at my parents' in Colombia, I have started wondering if it is the right time in life to stop being so lonely and self sufficient, and give myself another opportunity with somebody. Although there are no candidates, my brain is telling me I should not insist anymore in being self sufficient, and should start recognizing that sharing a common objective with somebody, getting to agreements to make things work, and simply enjoying the possibilit of once in a while not depending only in myself is a better option of life than what I have now. I have to ask myself if my brain is telling me I am willing to do such a thing in the near future, or if it is only informing me that at some point I will, but, regardless of the reason, the thought is there, and with it the willingness to preserve my freedom for the trip is also not convincing for my own standards.

Now what? I think quitting smoking would be the first step, so I don't get the chance to come to these thoughts and analyze my life. And the question of whether I should make the trip or not remains open, awaiting a decision that I am not sure I want to come. This is my last opportunity to make this trip, before all the thoughts that have started assaulting me turn into reality, and all I can think of is I'm not sure.

Recuerdos

De mi infancia en Colombia, al igual que de mi adolescencia, guardo muy pocos recuerdos. Dependiendo del punto de vista, esta es o no una sabia decisión. Los recuerdos que guardo son en su gran mayoría buenos, y cualquiera que conozca la historia completa, y como fue mi vida en el Colegio Andino, sabe que buenos recuerdos no pueden ser la mayoría, sino probablemente la gran minoría...

Sea como sea, entre mis recuerdos está la novela Las Juanas. Esta novela fue emitida en Colombia en los años 90, y hubo unos episodios que dejaron huella en mi.

Uno de esos memorables capítulos es el matrimonio de las Juanas, día en que la guerrilla planeaba atacar Corozal, y decidió no hacerlo ya que se casaban las Juanas. Esta actitud de la guerrilla me dió esperanza, que llegará el día en que el conflicto armado termine, ya que si la violencia y los ataques pueden dejar de ser en festividades, también pueden dejar de ser en días comunes y corrientes.

El segundo capítulo que dejó huella en mí es la marcha del amor, día en que las Juanas, junto con todo Corozal, se manifestaron juntos contra el Diablo y lo expulsaron del pueblo. La canción, tomada de un poema atribuido a Rudyard Kipling, la recuerdo aún hoy, mas de 10 años después, y cuando me siento desfallecer acudo a ella en busca de valor:

" Cuando vayan mal las cosas

como a veces suelen ir,
cuando ofrezca tu camino
sólo cuestas que subir,
cuando tengas mucho haber
pero mucho que pagar,
y precises sonreír
aun teniendo que llorar,
cuando ya el dolor te agobie
y no puedas ya sufrir,
descansar acaso debes
pero nunca desistir.
Tras las sombras de la duda,
ya plateadas ya sombrías,
puede bien surgir el triunfo,
no el fracaso que temías,
y no es dable a tu ignorancia
figurarse cuan cercano,
puede estar el bien que anhelas
y que juzgas tan lejano,
lucha, pues por más que en la
brega tengas que sufrir.
¡Cuando todo esté peor,
más debemos insistir!"

1002 days

It has been now almost 3.5 years since I got to Germany, and started working here. Since my first day at work, 1278 days have gone by, out of which I have been 90 on vacation and around 186 on vacation. This leaves 1002 work days.

I look back at those 1002 days, to find highlights, special days and events, surprises (good or bad ones), and I can't find them. Is work really like this? Are workdays really always the same?

I can't say everything is always the same, but, sadly, I can't recognize good or bad days any longer. They are all just work days.

When I wake up in the early morning, and think what my day will be like, I always hope it will not be a day like any other day, I hope there will be a surprise, maybe a compliment, or a simplification of what I do. I still dream of a life full of adventures, be them on my own or with friends surrounding me, and as time goes by, and I grow older (as I don't seem to grow up), I see how idealistic my goals in life were, and how life is not what I expected it to be.

Today is, as expected, a day like any other: filled with frustration, emails, and the usual.

1002 days of my life I have given up to produce diapers, and during which I have learnt that dreams don't come true, and that, as I had predicted being a sad and lonely teenager, dreaming is the safest way of losing faith in life.

I have 39 years 11 months to go until retirement, this makes aprox. 11210 days left of work, and 11210 days like any other. I wonder how I can make them fun, an adventure of each of them, and start creating an encouraging future, which I cannot see...

Questions, questions, and more questions

It's been a long time since I last sat to write. I've been tempted to do so quite frequently, but work, and life in general have taken over my life.

I wonder often, why I give up those activities that I enjoy the most: learning a language, writting, playing Nintendo, or going for rides on my bike or car.

Is work really that important? Or am I taking that feared and easy route, Marco always warned me not to take? "The easiest way is not always the best way" he used to tell me. Back then we were in college, living in Shelton Hall, and in my case, living new and exciting adventures every day. There were also "bad" days, and those were the days I heard his words.

Years have gone by, Shelton was Sophomore year, 2004-2005, and we have all grown up, at least according to our ID cards...

Why, you might wonder, am I coming back to his words? This is one of the many questions this blogs refers to.

I have gone through hell in the past weeks: Found out about new taxes I have to pay, had to change my main residency, and with it all my paperwork (car, insurance, residency and work permit, etc), got sick with a nose-ear-throat infection, and couldn't afford time off, so flew to Warsaw and worked 12 hours a day while sick. My mom got sick and I had no way of being in touch with my family, my suitcase got lost on the way from Warsaw and I found myself locked out of my apartment, and not to forget, a wasp-nest in my appartment. I even managed to oversee a stop sign while driving and get caught by the police, which, in Germany, is almost impossible.Honestly, can't be to far from hell, or Murphy's world.

Why does this all happen? My boss sometimes laughs and says that he knows I'm not telling lies with all these stories, as noone could come up with all of it. It just happens, life happens.

And just as life happens in the daily situations, and work becomes a safe environment to escape anything else that could be happening, life also happens in other, less evident to the public, aspects.

Being a workoholic I am escaping the loneliness that surrounds me, and the questions that are always on my mind. Work is the easiest route, but is it the safest?

El valor de los excéntricos

Cada día, todos y cada uno de nosotros nos cruzamos con un número considerable de personas: En el colegio, en el trabajo, en la calle, o en un ascensor.
La gran mayoría de estos extraños serán olvidados pocos segundos después del encuentro, mas unos pocos atraerán nuestra atención, y serán recordados por periodos de tiempo mas largos.
Quienes son estos extraños, que permanecen en nuestra memoria, aún sin haber cruzado una palabra con nosotros?
Todos tienen un denominador común: son especiales.
Pero, cómo describir en pocas palabras el ser especial?
Describirlos no es fácil, ya que hay un número indeterminado de formas de ser especial.
La apariencia física y forma de vestir es una de ellas. Si el hombre en la fila de adelante en el teatro mide más de dos metros, al llegar a casa lo recordaremos más fácilmente que si midiera 1,70 metros.
La forma de expresarse es también una característica especial: Aquel que se expresa con un lenguaje grandilocuente, o con un jergón incomprensible, quedará en nuestra memoria por más tiempo que aquel cuyo lenguaje corresponde a lo que nosotros consideramos común.
Una forma más de ser especial es siendo excéntrico, siendo un "Aussensteher". Y es precisamente este grupo aquel al que con mayor firmeza y dureza juzgamos.
Un exéntrico es con frecuencia el blanco de burlas, ó de lástima, y en unas pocas oportunidades, un ser admirado. Ejemplos de excéntricos son los "nerds" y los hermitaños, y en algunos lugares, las personas que provienen de una cultura diferente, e incomprendida.
La pregunta que surge es entonces, qué factores determinan si un excéntrico entra en el grupo de burlas, o de lástima, o en el de admiración?
Asumiendo una escala del 1 al 5, en el que 1 corresponde a blanco de burlas, y 5 a centro de admiración, los excéntricos que obtienen un 5 son generalmente muy cultos e inteligentes. Albert Einstein, y Madame Curie, son ejemplos de este grupo. Los dos fueron excéntricos en su tiempo, pero dejaron un legado a la humanidad, y aún en su época fueron admirados por grupos de la sociedad.
Quienes obtienen un 1 en la escala suelen ser personas tímidas, solitarias, de inteligencia lógico-racional promedio, e inteligencia social baja.
Saberse uno un excéntrico ayuda a sobrellevar las burlas, y las expresiones de lástima, a seguir adelante y a no darse por vencido. Mas ser un excéntrico promedio lleva a grandes incertidumbres, a con frecuencia a lágrimas. Qué valor tenemos para el mundo, quienes somos excéntricos promedio, y por lo tanto ni somos parte real de la sociedad, ni tenemos la capacidad de dejar una huella en el mundo? No hay un valor obvio que pueda ser visto en esta situación.
Somos considerados ejemplos sobre como no guiar una vida? Tenemos una función? Para Aristóteles todos los seres tienden a cumplir una función que les es propia, pero esta no es fácil de ver.
Vivimos en un mundo de clasificaciones, y buscamos, como todos, nuestro lugar y función en la vida. El no encontrar este lugar o función conlleva a sentirnos inútiles, estorbos, y nos puede llevar a considerar diferentes maneras de ponerle fin a la situación. Solo la fortaleza interna, y aquellos a quienes queremos, nos mantienen, y la esperanza de encontrar este lugar.
Que si los excéntricos tienen valor? Sí. lo tienen. Bien sea como seres admirables, o como aquellos que día a día luchan por seguir adelante, y encontrar su lugar.

Airth, Mayo 31, 2010