Yo soy asi

I must have been about 10 years old, sometime in the mid 90s, when my sister asked our parents to take her/us to the Oki Doki concert in Bogota. Oki doki was a tv show, and a "band" in the 90s in Colombia, and it was aimed for kids. Our parents took us there (this was before I developed claustrophobia), and one of the songs the group sang stuck with me: " Yo soy asi", which translates "I am this way".
While passing away the time tonight I was on youtube and came across the song once again, and within second all those memories I claim to have forgotten from the time between 1st and 9th grade came back to me: school, the people, teachers, how mean my classmates were, and how I was told that letting people's comments affect me was a lack of character.
The song became one of my favourite songs, if not the most important one, as it gave me strength to go back to school every day, to face my classmates and not break under the jokes and comments, but most of all, not to break when they rejected me, when they told the new kids not to talk to me or make friends with me if they wanted to be accepted in school, and not to be ashamed of who I am and how I am.
I did stay strong, I did not drop my grades at school as my classmates told me to so they would accept me (I still wonder if they would have had accepted me and allow me to integrate, or if they would just have enjoyed seeing me without friends, and an average or below average student...) , and while there are many scars that have healed and some are still healing, I am happy to realize the time is behind me and I don't have to go back there.
It's been almost 20 years since I first heard the song, and while the life I live now no longer resembles my life in school, I must admit the song still applies to me, I am still a bit of an outsider, with interests often condemned when expressed by women and who enjoys her freedom. I am still not ready to follow the path the society has casted for us, and regularly get to deal with comments expressing disapproval  for my point of view or my decisions, just as 20 years ago I wasn't ready to tell lies about my vacation, drop my grades, or even worse, do bad in math so boys would score higher, the "right" way back then.
(For consistency, the other song I listened to from Oki Doki all the time was "Considerate de Aqui" , something like "Consider yourself one of us", which was my dream: beölonging somewhere)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vFM0OwBhpd8

T-3

Three days to go until the meeting that might change my life drastically: In three days we will check together with experts on the matter, whether or not it is likely and possible for me to return to Boston this winter. I am no longer scared or nervous about the outcome, I feel totally comfortable both with my plan A and B, and can look at my future with the certainty that I am doing the right thing. I must however wonder, which path will I be taking in two months, and what my life will be like in 6 months from now: Will I be leaving in Boston, working in an industry I know and doing a job I know? Or will I be living in a country I might have never been to before, in a different industry or a totally different job? What about living in that far away country, but working as a volunteer to help children in need? All options are attractive, all options offer me personal and professional growth, and the opportunity for a new start in life, leaving behind at least some of those negative habits I have picked over the past years, maybe bringing me into a healthier lifestyle.
3 days to go until I know how much I will leave behind. Will it be leaving behind the country I have lived in for over 6 years, and returning to a place where I have a stable social network? Will it be leaving the paycheck and routine and finding out whether a different culture allows me to grow a new social network, starting from scratch? Will it be packing my life into boxes, grabbing my backpack and heading off to see more of the world?
It might seem a lot is on the game, and depending on the point of view it most likely is. The one thing that is on the game for sure is my future. What if I chose to go to Asia and meet someone there? Would I have the strength to stay there and settle down on the opposite side of the world from my family? Or would I frek out and find myself into a life crisis, trying to balance heart and head? What if I go to Boston and feel overwhelmed by work in the company I know, and want to leave but find myself not having the opportunity anymore?
None of these life questions will be addressed this week, and maybe they never will need to be addressed, all of these questions will only come up in one of the scenarios that life might bring for me, and there are 3 days left to go until at least an initial direction for my life is set.