I belong to the people who have to make an effort to keep reactions controlled, and reduce the number of impulsive reactions. My impulsive reactions have gotten me into problems in the past (and still do often), and more often than I'd like to recognize, I have found myself regretting how I have reacted. Reactions include hurting myself, running away, writing angry emails and yelling at people. At some legendary points of my life, they also included moving to a different dorm, for 1 night!, (and then moving back), changing classes (In High school, changed German group out of the blue), and travelling overseas for a weekend (See: Boston).
I often wonder what the reasons behind an impulsive reaction are: Impulsive reactions are related to instincts, which often can save a person from danger, or from uncomfortable situations, however, impulsive reactions also come based on emotions and not in instincts, and those can create problems, and situations which are difficult to resolve at a later point.
Yesterday, as an impulsive reaction, I looked up for jobs and started the application for a new job at BMW. I have no idea on what led me to start looking up for jobs, or what led me to register so I can start the application process. It must be related to the changes of the last couple of weeks at work, the confirmation of the gossip of some disintegration of the organization I work in, the feeling that comes along to be overloaded, and approaching a burn out. However, the fact that my subconscious mind is looking for an escape route is new to me, and I hope I can keep my reactions under control in the next couple of weeks and not take any decision (like quitting my job, and going back full time to university or to a full new job also in Germany). If my subconscious is not telling the truth, this impulsive reactions will soon go away. If it is telling the truth, then I will go back home, go back to Boston, and that needs to be planned, and cannot be an impulsive reaction.
