1002 days

It has been now almost 3.5 years since I got to Germany, and started working here. Since my first day at work, 1278 days have gone by, out of which I have been 90 on vacation and around 186 on vacation. This leaves 1002 work days.

I look back at those 1002 days, to find highlights, special days and events, surprises (good or bad ones), and I can't find them. Is work really like this? Are workdays really always the same?

I can't say everything is always the same, but, sadly, I can't recognize good or bad days any longer. They are all just work days.

When I wake up in the early morning, and think what my day will be like, I always hope it will not be a day like any other day, I hope there will be a surprise, maybe a compliment, or a simplification of what I do. I still dream of a life full of adventures, be them on my own or with friends surrounding me, and as time goes by, and I grow older (as I don't seem to grow up), I see how idealistic my goals in life were, and how life is not what I expected it to be.

Today is, as expected, a day like any other: filled with frustration, emails, and the usual.

1002 days of my life I have given up to produce diapers, and during which I have learnt that dreams don't come true, and that, as I had predicted being a sad and lonely teenager, dreaming is the safest way of losing faith in life.

I have 39 years 11 months to go until retirement, this makes aprox. 11210 days left of work, and 11210 days like any other. I wonder how I can make them fun, an adventure of each of them, and start creating an encouraging future, which I cannot see...