Ugly people

Some months ago, while having a cup of coffee with two friends and a friend of theirs at Starbucks, a comment was made: "people with backpacks are ugly. It does not matter if they have a beautiful face, as soon as they have a huge and ugly backpack on their shulders, they look ugly, and never elegant". The person who made the comment was not one of my friends, but their friend, and I assume she did not know that I am a "bacpacker".

Her comment hurt me badly, and made me analyze why such a comment can hurt, when it comes from somebody I have no contact to, nor do I have a friendship with. Was it the fact that my friends were there, and one of them looked at me to se my reaction (at least that is how it felt)? Was it the fact that I am proud of my trips, as they are the most important and meaningful part of my life? Or was it simply that I care about every comment somebody makes about me?

I came to the conclusion that it was a combination of the three. On one hand, I know my face reflected my initial thought ("who are you to say who looks ugly? The fact that you are elegant, does not make you any pretty"), and I believe at least one of my friends noticed it (I need to learn not to communicate with my eyes, too dangerous). I felt ashamed of myself for my thoughts, but at the same time I felt she deserved it.

I am proud of my trips as those are the one time a year when I am myself, surrounded by people I don't know, and the only chance I see of making friends who do not work in the same company I do. My trips are my social life, my dream, and my escape route when the thoughts of family come to my mind, and the reality of my age, and the low likelihood I see in ever having a family become apparent. While traveling I am free, I enjoy them and get the feeling that even if I stay a workaholic without family, my life is still worth living.

Lastly, I have never considered myself pretty, but somehow the statement that I am ugly just because I travel with backpack and not with suitcases seems unfair.

It is always interesting to see how a comment can generate so many thoughts and feelings, and reminds of a sentence heard many years ago, from a teacher in middle school: "words don't hurt. What hurts is the interpretation given to those words".